Texts From Last Night: Gambia Edition

Adjusting to a new site over the first few weeks inevitably put us in some uncomfortable, and looking back, pretty funny situations. Here are just a few of the texts I received from my fellow volunteers over the first two weeks at site that kept me laughing, and therefore sane...

Julie [some time around midnight]: I am going to be the one that dies on the pit latrine during a thunder and lightning rain storm, but I cant hold it anymore!

Abby: Dude, all of our language and culture training was a sham. I just saw an ancient woman, whose lived in the Gambia her whole life, swipe a baby's butt clean with her RIGHT hand.

Me: So I went to the neighbors house last night to charge my phone and I ended up watching Mexican soap operas while they fed me almonds and coconut...who would have thought.
Julie: Sounds delicious! I, on the other hand, go to the small comium power plant, a 3 man operation, where each wears an orange vest, brews attaya, and asks about my husband- whose name changes each time I visit. All part of the fun!

Leah: So desperate for protein that you stuff boiled eggs in your mouth like you're at a hot-dog eating contest? Try this! I found out that liquid magi (MSG) and boiled eggs are as close to a mouths orgasm as you can get!

Julie: My principal demands that all students be at school by 9 tomorrow with their knives! Forget the zero tolerance policy. Tomorrow we will harvest the school farm of course.

Samantha [after telling me she has been sick]: I'm on the gele gele. Such a pain...but at least I feel ok with being this far from a bathroom lol. Africa makes you appreciate the small things.

Julie: That's right, I have been on a gele gele for close to an hour now with my knees hanging out the back door, and the apprentice on the back ladder, only releasing my grip now to text as we sit at a check point!

Me: I just walked out into my pit latrine and a frog jumped onto my head!
Lucia: The question is-did the frog try and kiss you and hope for a visa to America??

Julie [referring to the bottle of coke she was saving for a special occasion]: Enough! I am drinking this coke hot, although I kind of feel like the kind of alcoholic we learned about in training who sits alone in the dark of their hut and drinks!

Julie: We have stopped the school day to go to the school farm to save it from monkeys!
Julie: Grab your knives!
Julie: And I just managed to send the last message about knives not only to Abby, but to Alpha too!! [Alpha the stoic, never cracks a smile, PC staff member in charge of our security]