The Art of Toubabing

Imagine having one word shouted in your face day after day, every time you leave your house. A word that reminds you of how different you are from everyone else in your community. A word that literally means 'white person" or 'outsider'. That word...is Toubab (sounds like two-bob). I've been told that it's not to be taken offensively, that they are just making an observation and stating it out loud (which was a complete understatement), and I believe it, BUT it could possibly be the most annoying thing I have ever come across. No, it definitely is.
Since I am toubab-ed more times a day than I am greeted like a normal person I have had ample opportunity to analyze this trend and have come to find that there are actually nine different ways to be toubabed. Welcome to my life...

The Shy Toubab: The wide-eyed child timidly watches you pass by and waits until you are about ten feet past to whisper toubab, just loud enough so that you barely hear it, and then looks away like it wasn't them when you turn around.

The Stealthy Toubab: You hear it being shouted from somewhere beside you, or is it behind you, or in that tree?? You'll never know because when you look around, there is no one to be seen.

The Team Toubab: A group of 5 children or more make an effort to chant 'toubab toubab toubab' in unison. There is usually some kind of dance accompaniment and occasionally clapping.

The 'Bob' Toubab: A rare gem, this one. The last syllable is overly emphasized resulting in you hearing only 'Bob...Bob!...BOB!!'

The Toubab-Minti Combo: Not only are you called toubab, but apparently they also expect you to give them candy, known as mintis here. I would love to meet and then strangle that toubab who came here and went around The Gambia handing out minties to the children. The sounds of "Toubab!! Any minti!?!" haunts my dreams.

The Grown Toubab: Perhaps the most rude of them all, This is when any person over the age of ten calls you a toubab. BUT, when an old man sticks his head in your gelly and looks you in the eye and calls you a toubab, being a bitch back (in Mandinka no less) is a sure way to impress and humor the entire gelly.

The Persistent Toubab: As you walk toward a child...and then away from the child, they shout toubab over and over and over and over, with a persistence you would kill to have, until you are far from earshot. Even then, knowing that there is still some kid about a mile behind you still yelling toubab.

The Deep-Winded Toubab: They see you approaching from a mile away (even in the dark, because yes, we glow) you see a deep breath being drawn, and it begins. "Toooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb"
It lasts for 5+ minutes, and you walk by wondering maybe if you should go back and get some advice on lung strength...

The Handsy Toubab: As they are yelling, they also run after you grabbing at anything they can, your bicycle, hands, and clothes...until you stop short and start grabbing at their clothes and hands, stunning them into submission. The small victories are what matter.